Breastfeeding Shouldn’t Hurt: A Practical Guide to Fixing Your Latch
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NAVAYA PARENT GUIDE · BREASTFEEDING
Pain is a signal, not a rite of passage. A calm, practical guide to positioning, attachment and finding the support that works for you.
There is a common myth in early parenthood that breastfeeding should come as naturally to us as breathing. When it does not—when every session brings a sharp wince, cracked skin or sheer frustration—it can leave you feeling defeated, exhausted and deeply isolated.
If you are struggling through painful feeds, here is the most important truth to hear right now: breastfeeding is a learned skill for both you and your baby. Some brief tenderness can happen in the earliest days, but pain that continues through a feed, returns at every feed or damages the nipple deserves attention and support.
A PERSONAL NOTE
Our journey through tongue-tie and the rugby hold
When my son was born, I assumed we would figure out feeding within a couple of days. Reality had a very different plan.
He was born with a tongue-tie, and getting a comfortable, effective seal was incredibly difficult. He simply would not latch, and trying to bring him onto the breast took ages. We tried every angle in the book—often through tears of frustration in the middle of the night—and for the first few months, that elusive deep latch felt out of reach.
The game-changer for us was experimenting with positions until we found the rugby hold, also known as the football hold. Supported by pillows and tucked under my arm, that adjustment gave us the control we needed to achieve a functional latch. For months, it was the only position that worked. Then, as he grew and his mouth became bigger, something shifted—and suddenly other positions became much easier.
We could not have navigated those difficult months without the hands-on guidance of an IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant), who helped us understand his individual feeding challenges. If you are in the thick of it, know that things can get better and you do not have to struggle through it alone.
Why latch pain happens
One common cause of pain is shallow attachment. The nipple sits nearer the front of the baby’s mouth and can be compressed against the hard palate, rather than resting more comfortably towards the soft palate at the back. Position and attachment are not the only possible causes, however; infection, vasospasm, engorgement and other feeding issues can also cause pain. Ask for support if an adjustment does not make feeding more comfortable.
Three common latch obstacles and what to try
1
Shallow attachment
What it may feel or look like: pinching pain; baby has mostly the nipple rather than a generous mouthful of breast; your nipple looks flattened, wedged or white after a feed.
Try this: start with baby’s nose level with your nipple. Wait for a wide-open mouth, then bring baby towards you, chin first. Baby’s chin should touch the breast, with the head free to tilt back.
2
Possible tongue restriction
What it may look like: difficulty attaching or staying attached, clicking, very long or frequent feeds, poor milk transfer, persistent nipple damage or slow weight gain. A visible frenulum alone does not mean treatment is needed.
Next step: ask a trained feeding professional to observe a full feed and assess tongue function as well as positioning and attachment. Some babies need feeding support only; if feeding remains affected, a qualified clinician can discuss whether tongue-tie division is appropriate.
3
Baby is not stable or aligned
What it may look like: baby’s body is twisted or their head turns to reach the breast.
Try this: keep baby close, with head and body in line and their whole body facing yours. Bring baby to the breast rather than leaning your body forwards. Use pillows or rolled towels if they help you stay comfortable.
Finding the position that works for you
| Position | May be helpful for | Key technique |
|---|---|---|
| Rugby / football hold | After a caesarean birth, larger breasts, twins or when you want a clearer view and more control of attachment. | Tuck baby alongside you under your arm. Support the shoulders and upper back while keeping the head free to tilt. |
| Laid-back feeding | Relaxing tension, encouraging feeding reflexes or managing a forceful milk flow. | Recline comfortably rather than aiming for an exact angle. Place baby tummy-down against you and let gravity support their body. |
| Cross-cradle hold | Early feeds when you want a clear view and close control of baby’s position. | Use the arm opposite the feeding breast to support baby across the shoulders and upper back; avoid pressing the back of their head. |
A quick comfort check
- Baby is held close, with head and body in line.
- Baby’s nose starts level with the nipple.
- Baby opens their mouth wide and comes to the breast chin first.
- More areola is visible above the top lip than below the bottom lip.
- Cheeks stay rounded and you can hear or see swallowing.
- Any initial pulling sensation settles quickly and the feed feels comfortable.
When to ask for help
Ask your midwife, health visitor, breastfeeding supporter, GP or IBCLC to watch a feed if pain continues, your nipples are cracked or bleeding, your baby repeatedly slips off, feeds are consistently very long or your baby is not gaining weight as expected. Seek prompt medical advice if you feel unwell, develop a hot or red area on the breast, have a fever, notice signs of infection, or your baby seems unusually sleepy or is feeding poorly.
A GUIDE TO KEEP CLOSE
Download the free three-page Latch Reset checklist
A simple, printable reminder covering the deep-latch sequence, common pain clues, three useful feeding positions and when to ask for help. Enter your email and we’ll send it straight to your inbox.
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A NOTE FROM NAVAYA
This guide reflects Navaya’s views and is intended for general information and reassurance. It is not a substitute for personalised medical advice. If you are unsure about feeding, pain, nipple damage, your baby’s health or weight gain, please seek guidance from a qualified healthcare professional or lactation specialist.
One less thing to worry about.